Am I the only person out there who doesn't believe for a second that Lindsay Lohan will complete her three month jail sentence? I mean when Paris Hilton went to jail she was behind bars for what a couple days?? Please, she'll cry and say how she's not being treated well, get transferred to the medical wing and before you can say 'slap my ass and call me Fanny!', she'll be out.
Shouldn't a ninety day jail sentence mean having to spend ninety days in jail? And her shock at being sentenced? I don't care what your lawyer may have promised, lawyers can be wrong.
OK, let's get into something here. Yes, jails are overcrowded and take up tax payer dollars. But jail also allows you to get an education, get paid, get fed, clothed and housed. Maybe if jail was more of a punishment we wouldn't see so many people there.
Bottom line is, Lindsay Lohan was convicted of a crime. I know of others who have done far less and are still feeling the effects years later. Must be nice to be a celebrity.
14 July 2010
11 July 2010
No Invitation
The weather's been really hot and I wish I knew what was going on with me but on Friday evening, I took a stroll with a friend of mine to get a coffee. It's a nice twenty minute walk both ways and the temperature had dropped, making it very comfortable. Just as we're reaching the coffee shop, I get a text telling me that two people I used to work with were going to just drop by my place for a visit. I sent a message back saying I wasn't home and then called home to give my family the heads up.
There are a few things about all this that bothers me. First is the time of day. It was past nine pm and I live with family. These aren't people who my family know well and maybe it's just the way I was brought up but you don't show up at someone's place unannounced (or even call as you're pulling in the driveway). It also bothers me that one of my visitors happened to be the same person who forgets what's been done for her (keeping her job while in treatment) when it's not done for someone else (losing my job while I'm in treatment).
What does it matter? I don't talk to them and I really don't care to. Since losing my job, I've been able to see who my friends are. It's been easy to spot those that don't give a crap and it's hilarious when I do run into them. They act so fake and I can't wait to get out of there. Fun for the whole family.
There are a few things about all this that bothers me. First is the time of day. It was past nine pm and I live with family. These aren't people who my family know well and maybe it's just the way I was brought up but you don't show up at someone's place unannounced (or even call as you're pulling in the driveway). It also bothers me that one of my visitors happened to be the same person who forgets what's been done for her (keeping her job while in treatment) when it's not done for someone else (losing my job while I'm in treatment).
What does it matter? I don't talk to them and I really don't care to. Since losing my job, I've been able to see who my friends are. It's been easy to spot those that don't give a crap and it's hilarious when I do run into them. They act so fake and I can't wait to get out of there. Fun for the whole family.
05 July 2010
Half a Person
I feel like a shell of my former self. I used to go out, be involved with things, have opinions and all the other things that people have. Something changed and it happened so gradually that in the beginning I didn't think there was anything different but now I can see it. The only thing I seem to be able to do well is sleep.
Going to doctors doesn't seem to help either. Not that its stopping me, but I hate sitting in the waiting room knowing that when I get in there and tell him my symptoms that I'll get brushed off, like all the times before. Or, even worse, prescribed some sort of anti-depressant that I don't want (and didn't want in the first place) and make me feel physically worse than I did when I arrived.
If these drugs work for you, great. I just know they don't for me. I've tried a couple different ones and I'm of the thinking that whatever problems I have that are causing me to feel like this will only be masked and only when I deal with said problems will I start feeling better. That is my stance and in no way am I telling anyone that my way is the right way. Everyone is different and whatever it is that someone else may be going through is their situation and only that person can figure out what's best for them.
What do I want out of things? I just want to be happy. Overall, grand scheme of things happy. To get there I would love to see the return of my appetite, my sense of humor and the desire to leave my apartment every now and again. I have a lot of work to do and my fingers are crossed.
Going to doctors doesn't seem to help either. Not that its stopping me, but I hate sitting in the waiting room knowing that when I get in there and tell him my symptoms that I'll get brushed off, like all the times before. Or, even worse, prescribed some sort of anti-depressant that I don't want (and didn't want in the first place) and make me feel physically worse than I did when I arrived.
If these drugs work for you, great. I just know they don't for me. I've tried a couple different ones and I'm of the thinking that whatever problems I have that are causing me to feel like this will only be masked and only when I deal with said problems will I start feeling better. That is my stance and in no way am I telling anyone that my way is the right way. Everyone is different and whatever it is that someone else may be going through is their situation and only that person can figure out what's best for them.
What do I want out of things? I just want to be happy. Overall, grand scheme of things happy. To get there I would love to see the return of my appetite, my sense of humor and the desire to leave my apartment every now and again. I have a lot of work to do and my fingers are crossed.
04 July 2010
Feeling My Age
I always considered myself lucky when it came to how I looked in relation to how old I am. I look a good ten years younger and have never had any surgery done. There have been advantages as well as disadvantages. The shocked look on people's faces when they find out is always cool but being treated like a child by people who are my age can get pretty tiresome.
This past weekend, however, really made me feel my age.
I had a headache on Thursday - nothing too bad but instead of having people over I would have rather been in a dark quiet room, getting rid of the thing. In any case, Friday came around, I went to work but didn't feel great. I was tired and as the day went on, my head took a turn - like it had turned onto the on ramp to painville. Going straight home, I figured I would get into bed, get some sleep and I'd be fine in a couple of hours but that wasn't what was in store.
Migraines are nothing new to me but it's very rare that they get this bad. I can count on one hand how many I've had that have caused this much pain and suffering. If you have ever had a migraine, you'll know what I mean.
Tylenol, Advil don't do anything for my migraines (even if the box says they're made for that type of headache) and I can't take any of the prescription medication because of a heart condition so I use ice packs and have several in the freezer. At first, the ice seemed to help but then the nausea started. When my stomach was fine, my head felt like there was a thick metal spike in my head being hit by a metal hammer. The more I felt sick to my stomach, though, the less the pain was in my head. Ten years ago I had a headache like this and I knew that if I just let myself get sick, that everything would be fine.
I made up my mind and let the nausea take over but nothing happened. I couldn't decide which was worse, the pain in my head or waiting to throw up. I won't get into details but as I was being sick, a new sensation occurred and I didn't think it was possible to think things could get worse. The strain made it feel like the back of my head (not where the migraine was to begin with) exploded. There was such an intense pain across the back of my neck it felt as though I had burst every blood vessel I had. It was so bad I thought I had to go to the hospital.
Eventually the pain went away but it's two days later and I'm still feeling like absolute crap. That's where the age thing is coming into play. It's taking longer to recover and I hate it. I do know it is time to get back to the doctor and get something done because this is getting really tough to handle. It was the first time I really felt like I wanted to die.
So I'm hoping that tomorrow I'll be feeling better.
This past weekend, however, really made me feel my age.
I had a headache on Thursday - nothing too bad but instead of having people over I would have rather been in a dark quiet room, getting rid of the thing. In any case, Friday came around, I went to work but didn't feel great. I was tired and as the day went on, my head took a turn - like it had turned onto the on ramp to painville. Going straight home, I figured I would get into bed, get some sleep and I'd be fine in a couple of hours but that wasn't what was in store.
Migraines are nothing new to me but it's very rare that they get this bad. I can count on one hand how many I've had that have caused this much pain and suffering. If you have ever had a migraine, you'll know what I mean.
Tylenol, Advil don't do anything for my migraines (even if the box says they're made for that type of headache) and I can't take any of the prescription medication because of a heart condition so I use ice packs and have several in the freezer. At first, the ice seemed to help but then the nausea started. When my stomach was fine, my head felt like there was a thick metal spike in my head being hit by a metal hammer. The more I felt sick to my stomach, though, the less the pain was in my head. Ten years ago I had a headache like this and I knew that if I just let myself get sick, that everything would be fine.
I made up my mind and let the nausea take over but nothing happened. I couldn't decide which was worse, the pain in my head or waiting to throw up. I won't get into details but as I was being sick, a new sensation occurred and I didn't think it was possible to think things could get worse. The strain made it feel like the back of my head (not where the migraine was to begin with) exploded. There was such an intense pain across the back of my neck it felt as though I had burst every blood vessel I had. It was so bad I thought I had to go to the hospital.
Eventually the pain went away but it's two days later and I'm still feeling like absolute crap. That's where the age thing is coming into play. It's taking longer to recover and I hate it. I do know it is time to get back to the doctor and get something done because this is getting really tough to handle. It was the first time I really felt like I wanted to die.
So I'm hoping that tomorrow I'll be feeling better.
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